also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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