Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
