I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So vagazzling was a success
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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