if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
