Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
