I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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