this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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