He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
