Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
