Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
