the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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