He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
why is half of my head shaved?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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