Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
