I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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