Barsexuality is the new black.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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