man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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