after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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