I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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