and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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