This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Terrible idea I love it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
