Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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