Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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