Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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