I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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