I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
they're like a gay fantastic four
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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