If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
