Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
