why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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