I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We need a shit load of segways right now
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
