Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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