So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
