yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
