I wanna bring you to show and tell
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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