At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
