sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool