Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
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if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
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As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties