coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
