3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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