I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
