no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
