Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
