What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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