so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
