i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
True strength comes from lack of pants
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
