I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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