Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
