so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
