Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
