I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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