Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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