I am in a vortex of obligation.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
