I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
