it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
