I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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