It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
