i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
