brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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