Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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