i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
