You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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