You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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