Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
