i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Boobs are out for the taking
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
