We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
